Go ahead. You know you want to do it. Open the freezer door and stick your head in. Ahhh. The relief.
This is you if you're old enough to experience hot flashes.
I learned this trick from a friend whose mother routinely stuck her head in the freezer. It is the coldest place that's immediately available. Second best is a glass bottle that you've stuck — you guessed it — in the freezer. I would leave it in for about ten minutes then put it on my neck, behind my ear. Cooled things off.
I finally stopped having hot flashes about three years ago, but I know women in their seventies who still get them. And that got me thinking.
What are hot flashes anyway? They are things being not in balance as we transition from one phase of life to the next. They are uncomfortable…to experience and to talk about.
The whole concept of menopause is not something we like to think about. Some of us have been outspoken about it. I remember telling a guy friend that I couldn't have babies anymore. He laughed, a little uncomfortably, but it was the truth. My body was done with that phase of the game, but that didn't mean that I was done.
All the connections to finance were too obvious to ignore. We go through phases in our financial lives. We spend money and we end up with college educations, houses, cars, and stuff. Sometimes too much stuff. We make sure our kids have what they need — and what they want. Do you remember our lives without cell phones? I got my daughter her first one when she was eight because she was going on a trip with her Godparents, and we wanted to stay connected. She's never left home without it since.
We save money when we can and balance that with the debt we inevitably take on.
So What Exactly Is Financial Menopause™?
And yes, we all go through Financial Menopause™. Some call it financial anxiety. Men do too. I had one 59-year-old look at me very seriously and say, "You know, male menopause is not a myth." I liked the alliteration AND the idea. We all change, and every guy I've ever told this concept to, laughs. I don't know all the reasons why they laugh, but I know why we do. (And I know you did because everyone does!) We know both sides of menopause — the good and the bad. And I want us all to feel the same way about Financial Menopause™. It sucks having female financial anxiety about our money. Instead, I want us to know what it is so that we can be more causative about making sure it's handled properly.
(Oh, and by the way, I almost titled this post, "Just Say No to Financial Menopause™," but I decided that was just too much for those of us who lived through the Nancy Reagan years.)
The first step is knowing what Financial Menopause™ is. Knowledge is power, after all…but only knowledge that we can use.
The Budgetary Hot Flashes: When the Numbers Run Hot
Financial Menopause™ is the budgetary hot flashes that come when we don't know how much our nest egg, the one that we so carefully built over the years, is going to give us every month in retirement. We may or may not have our houses paid off, but what about property taxes and upkeep? And utilities never go away. We like our heat and air conditioning, but if you don't plan for them, how do you know you're covered? Then there are the car payments and insurance, food, and entertainment. I don't know about you, but I have travel at the top of my retirement bucket list, but when Financial Menopause™ rears its ugly head, then how do you know if you can go to that quaint little seaside town that you read about years ago?
Budgetary hot flashes also include paying taxes. You know, that thing no one wants to talk about when you're accumulating all your retirement savings in your IRAs, 401ks, 403bs, or whatever other alphabet soup you may have your life savings in. The government changed retirement in the 80s and made us responsible for our own retirement savings, not our employers (unless you are one of the lucky ones who have a pension from your employer). The IRS rules say that we can accumulate retirement "tax-free" — but it's not free; it's deferred, and that tax bill is always higher than you think it should be.
Monetary Mood Swings: The Market's Hot-and-Cold Relationship With Your Nerves
Financial Menopause™ shows up as Monetary Mood Swings too. This is the up-and-down aspect of the stock market. When it's up, you think you are living high on the hog, as the old saying goes. When it crashes — and it will have its dips at the very least — then you wish you had listened to that webinar on retirement, the one on safe money that you didn't think you needed. What goes up eventually must come down, and even if it doesn't come down as much as the naysayers think it will, these Monetary Mood Swings cause bad headaches.
The Horrible Night Sweats: 3 a.m. and Your Retirement Is Staring Back at You
And of course, what is any menopause without the Horrible Night Sweats? I hate those. When it comes to your finances, this is when you wake up out of a dead sleep wondering if you're going to have enough to last you through retirement, help take care of your mom and dad, pay for your kid's wedding — or college — or both — and still have enough to leave some sort of something behind for them when you are no longer shuffling along on "this mortal coil" (to quote Shakespeare). In other words, you worry about your legacy.
The Good News About Financial Menopause™
Menopause is hard enough. Why go through it again with your finances? Financial Menopause™ is the one kind of menopause that you can avoid, even if you've started your retirement journey. Unfortunately, you can't stick your head in the freezer on this one. That would be like the fictional ostrich sticking its head in the sand. It doesn't happen in real life. This ostrich part, anyway. You pretending that nothing is wrong when financial disaster might be looming large — that part is all too real. And that is what I want to help you avoid.
We women want a lot of things, but not all of the same things. I can't tell you how mad I get when someone tries to pigeonhole me because I now have some grey hair and I finally can say I'm post-menopause. But I do know this. Most of us want stability, and after having written a bunch of books (mostly for men) on the subject of financial independence, I can say that when we have a stable income, it's a heck of a lot easier to do all the other things — the individual things — we like to do. Stable income equals income we can count on…and there is a way to have that after you retire, even if you don't have a traditional pension.
When women are financially intelligent, they are financially secure — but it takes some education, some planning, and some good old stick-to-it-ness.
There's a lot to talk about when it comes to women and money, and we will cover it. When women are financially intelligent, they are financially secure, but it takes some education, some planning, and some good old stick-to-it-ness (what the women I know have in spades!) to get there.
Stay tuned. I look forward to hearing from you — your dreams, your goals, your stories, and even your disasters…because that's what makes us mature women so attractive.
And remember. I may have stuck my head in the freezer a time or two…but I will never stick my head in the sand. Life is far too interesting for that.